Now that I look back, it's always this time of the year that are the high points of my life and then can instantly become the ultimate low. It may be that I am getting these 'highs' from the wrong places. I know what I need to work on and I'm desperately trying.

well i basically write here like a journal...not really expecting anyone to read so yeah don't mind me if it gets a little personal.

these past few months have really been tough. I have been more emotional during this time than i have ever been in my entire life. I never used to be the type of person who got lonely or needy often or even cried in movies or anything like that. Now I'm the total opposite. I think I'm vulnerable and I hate it. I hate the fact that one of my best friends is graduating in a month. I hate the fact that I don't have the strength to resist the worst temptations. but most of all i hate the laziness that took over my life. I know when i look back on these months, they'll seem like nothing...but to me right now it seems so tough and hard and it feels like im struggling just to barely make it through each and every day.

this is probably what life with lack of faith, hope, and trust in God is like.

I hate that I am like this.

So change? I want to so bad....

Here's my resolution, I'm letting go.

Currently Listening What's Left of Me By Nick Lachey Resolution see related

holidays suck. they really do.

i don't know why or how but over the course of 2 months...i've manage to become distant from everyone and everything. my cousin called me anti social and it made me mad. But reality is...that's what i've become. Maybe it's because i've lost hope in all friendships and all love. People never fail to disappoint me. And because of them, I've become a bitter person....

Jean's Birthday~

Yay~ so today was jean's birthday. it was super chill :) except right now im kind of worried cause i didn't bring home my ap calc book :( anywho...we had dinner at mi piace. my pollo mi piace was super good :) so...HAPPY BIRTHDAY :)

me, jean, rachel, and karen :) haha i'm a fob ;)

that cake was SUPER good.

HOME-MADE (by karen and materials paid for partially by rachel) Chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream and inside the ice cream there were fresh strawberries :) along with strawberry icing on top. SUPER GOOD :) :)

sarah, me, jean

ok that's it :)

Currently Reading To Kill a Mockingbird By Harper Lee see related